i'm exactly what i appear to be, if you look closely.

SO! I finally saw a single man this weekend and was jaw open-tongue out-goose bump covered-giddy the entire time and continue to be as i write this...

I realized that there are a few things that I want. Scratch that. There are a lot of things I want.

I want it to be acceptable to drink a martini in bed at 11 in the morning
I want everyone to dress to impress all the time with immaculately tailored suits
I want to wear a beehive-esque hair style
I want to wear excessive eye makeup
I want to dance with Colin Firth in a living room that you enter through an indoor orange orchard
I want to live in a glass house
I want to swim naked in the ocean with Nicholas Hoult (yeah that's right Nicky... call me... winky face)
I want to live in a world where it's okay to look cool smoking a cigarette because the government is still profiting from nicotine sales and does not yet have the balls to tell us that we are slowly killing ourselves.
one. cigarette. at. a. time.
I want to be perfectly tanned all the time
I want to be approached by a sickeningly good looking man named Carlos in the parking lot of a liquor store and have him solicit me for sex (too far?)

BASICALLY
I want to live in a world constructed by Tom Ford where everything gives me a tingly feeling in my stomach and I am constantly blown away and impressed and surprised by how beautiful everything is.
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? FUCK.